Let me share something personal with you….
Does any of this sound like your experience?!
I was just trying to be “healthy” and “fit” though.. I was supposedly following the most “perfect and optimal” diets out there!!
I did not think what I was doing, was contributing to how I terrible I had been feeling.
One word: DENIAL!
I then took it even further becoming extremely emaciated in my orthorexic days following the Fitness Modeling and Competing escapade…
(these pictures don’t even show my skinniest points, as I was so ashamed I deleted all photos that were taken of me at the time…don’t let the smiles deceive how shitty I was feeling…lol)
Long story short, I decided to move to Hawaii; if I was going to suffer, I might as well suffer in paradise, right?
Although it was extremely stressful to make this move, I was pretty careless at this point about anything (feeling suicidal some days, as well as hopeless for my health and sanity), and spontaneously made the move…
This was the best decision I could have made for myself, as it was the turning point in my life that everything changed…
I still did not think I had a problem, but Hawaii was about to crank my eyes wide open..
I knew something had to change, I couldn’t keep doing what I was doing…I was fading away… my situation would soon become fatal…
Making the spontaneous move and living in Hawaii on an organic farm and then in a van, vulnerable, dependent on others for transportation, and grocery shopping; I couldn’t prepare foods as my mind wanted…
This took away my control, of food; so I took what I could get.
Eating normal meals, more than just fruit and veggies, gave me just the amount of nourishment I needed to think clearly, awakened my appetite, and showed my body it wasn’t in a famine anymore….
No matter how hard I tried to go back to my old restrictive thoughts and beliefs, it was already broken as if the beast had finally been released; there was no turning back.
I was about to embark on a several month long bingeing spree, but this spree would bring the life back in to me.
For several months…
But what I started to slowly realize was…it wasn’t an addiction, it was the fuel my body so desperately needed and had been craving for fucking, YEARS…
and as I continued feeding my body these so called “fear” foods…the better I felt…
The day I realized restricting, being extreme and overexerting my body and obsessing about how unhappy I was with my body, was a problem, was the day I never looked back…
…isn’t this something you want??
If I had someone to guide me, I would have saved myself from a heap of unnecessary struggle and setbacks…
I giggle now, but this shit is real!!
Allow yourself to ask for help and guidance; you don’t have to do it all alone, you don’t have to recreate the wheel.
You can learn from someone like myself, who went through it, learned the hard way of what to do and what not to do, so YOU DON’T HAVE TO!
This is why I offer my services, to help you realize what to do, the steps to follow, the things you need to allow to happen, so you can do it successfully!
I did not understand why the horrid symptoms I felt were happening during early recovery and what their purpose was…
Having some form of guidance early on and the support throughout the process…
…will save you the doubt, feelings of disgust, shame, and feeling disappointment in yourself, through this rough time because you’ll understand the process and have tools to empower yourself to stick through it all….
Shut up the inner chatter from the ED telling you why you must not recover and remember why you must recover. Got it??
Don’t underestimate the power of support, it can make or break your recovery.
Don’t we all want someone who understands?? I used to think I could do without, and could do everything all by myself..but i’ve grown up from this idea and realized the power of many, compared to just one, especially one that’s dysfunctional and one-sided.
…I understand what it’s like to struggle, suffer, and feel as if there’s nowhere else to turn….
I know the darkness, disordered eating and restrictive dieting brings, and all the life it takes away from us.
Unfortunately I went through my recovery journey alone, so I want to make sure, others with the desire to recover, won’t be alone and will have clear insight as to how to get the f@!* out!
I now feel compelled to empower others who are suffering from the many disordered eating patterns out there, that I too spent a great deal of my life all-consumed in.
Click Here to find out more on my 7 Week Intensive Coaching Program – this was the exact resource with all the information I needed in one place, that I wish I had in my recovery..
You have so much more to offer than looking unsustainably “picture perfect,” being fearful around food, and being chained to the gym.
It’s time to break out of old dogmas you’ve learned from someone else, that are NOT working for you…
Don’t allow yourself to further go down this dark, lonely, and life-sucking path another day!!
SCREW the standards and what others say we “should” look like…
Create your own standards for yourself!
You may have tried one or multiple of the following popular diets, dogmas, or “lifestyles” like I did:
-Intermittent fasting and/or full on Water Fasting
-Cleansing and Juicing
-Raw Foodism (and/or Fruitarianism)
-Bodybuilding/Fitness modeling Diet
-High volume exercise
-Stimulant drugs / weight loss pills
-Low-calorie (calorie restricting)
….yet, still are struggling for our health and sanity.. and so we continue to grasp on to these ideologies and diet theologies for our dear lives…
…because we’ve put so much trust and dedication into them, and outside of ourselves…
Lets do it, together! I am here for you!
Click Here to get instant access to my 7 Week Intensive Coaching Program – this was the exact resource with all the information I needed in one place, that I wish I had in my recovery..
xx Kayla Rose