How Would You Spend Your Life, If the Disordered Eating, Body and Exercise Behaviors Were Out of the Picture?

Uncategorized Mar 06, 2020

Do you ever think about what you could be doing and accomplishing in life if you weren’t controlled by the fears around food, not being able to have the perfect meal with the cleanest ingredients along a road trip or at the campsite, the anxiety of missing a workout, or missing your 5th meal at a specific set time?

 

Wouldn’t it be nice to be able to spontaneously go on an extended trip and feel completely FREE and disconnected from the inflexible, rigid, controlling, consuming, perfectionistic, closed off, insecure, and anxious thoughts around eating, your body and exercise?

 

In my disordered eating and orthorexic days, I was completely and utterly isolated for years of my life and passing up awesome opportunities to travel and explore all of life’s pleasures.

 

Why? Because all I could think, talk, dream, or read about was nutrition, exercise, eating clean, having the “perfect” body, cleansing my body of toxins, following the most optimal diet, measuring, calculating and planning my meals as well as focusing on getting likes, hearts and compliments via social media…

 

How fulfilling…Ha, right..

 

These things did not bring satisfaction nor did they bring a sense of purpose, passion or spark to my life..

 

In fact, they took away my life and drained me so I could not be a present member of society.

 

I had no desire to even want to live anymore because I was so sick, fatigued, frustrated, fearful, anxious, and controlled from this so called “healthy lifestyle” and hatred towards my self and body.

 

I can confidently and openly say that having been recovered and persistently working on myself to heal, mentally, physically and emotionally for quite some time now, I have been able to experience life in a totally liberating way.

 

Being able to carry out life experiences without the restrictions and extremism, has brought back meaning to life and excitement within my relationships, personal development and for the future in general.

 

Being able to have the energy and passion again to give back to the world in my own way (like my services for you guys is one example), has given me the most freeing and fulfilling satisfaction.

 

I wanted to share with you my most recent adventure driving up to Northern California and camping in Sequoia National Forest and then spontaneously heading right up to Yosemite after for the week!

 

Road trips alone can be super anxiety triggering for those with eating disorders, clean eating rules and strict exercise regimens.

 

Camping is even more of a stress ridden escapade and just the thought of these two things can induce a panick attack.

​​​​​​​It is the opposite of comfortable; we do not have the convenience to have access to fresh “clean” and “safe” foods that we would at home.

 

We feel out of control and are forced to have to go with the flow, which is not an option within an eating disorder mind.

 

But let me tell you about all that I got to experience without the chains of the disordered thoughts and behaviors that held me back from joy for years…

 

  • I was able to eat at fast food joints along the road trip when there was nothing else to choose from or if nothing else was open late at night and not have a panic attack, not have feelings of guilt, not have to call ahead to the restaurant to find out every cooking technique or quality of ingredients or if they had something “clean” I could eat.
  • I was able to share (not binge) on mint chocolate chip ice cream with the manpanion, where as before I would have been consumed with thoughts of bingeing. But because I’ve been consistent with feeding my body as it desires over the longterm, I can easily indulge without binge episodes.
  • I was able to not do my normal exercise regime the whole week without feelings of guilt, shame or feeling like a failure.
  • I was able to constantly be on the go, hiking through the huge beautiful Sequoia’s tree’s, swimming across the lake, jumping off rocks into the lake, paddle boarding and canoeing across the lake, climbing on rocks, and jumping in the freezing glacier rivers.
  • I was able to laugh so hard my stomach hurt, and feel comfortable with myself. I  can embrace my true personality again, which was for so long suppressed from either semi-starvation or trying to hard to be liked by others resulting in losing myself in the process.
  • I was able to maintain a normal body temperature without having to wear layers upon layers of clothes to even begin to feel warm.
  • and plenty more…

I could never go back to being restrictive and extreme again, because I would lose out of all the fun, joy, laughter and adventure that I’ve gained after recovering.

 

 

I actively choose this kind of freedom and these kinds of experiences with people I love over the quest to being “perfect” any day.

 

This is a friendly reminder to map out your priorities in life. As well as to go out into nature; nature has a way of humbling you, and opening your eyes to what’s really important in life.

 

Even if you’re in the most beautiful place on the earth with access to unlimited and privileged amenities, but you’re still feeling horrible about yourself, have no energy or brain power from malnourishment, or feeling lonely because you’ve isolated yourself from loved ones due to the restrictiveness in your lifestyle, you can’t fully enjoy what’s all around you, until you let go, work on yourself, and get to the core of your disordered behaviors.

 

Challenge yourself.. go out of your comfort zone..you’ll most likely wake up to the fact that life really is too short to be in a restrictive bubble, trying so hard to eat a certain way, look a certain way.

 

Ask yourself…

  • What are some of the things you could accomplish or experience if you weren’t bogged down from a restrictive diet, dogma, body hate thoughts, or exercise regime?
  • What is the real meaning of life to you and what actions could fulfill this meaning?
  • What has the eating disorder, clean dieting, overexercising and body shaming actually done for you? What all has it taken away?
  • What are some of the things that gave you the most satisfaction before the disordered eating and body dysmorphia?

 

You can most definitely get your life and health back.

 

I’m just here to remind you it’s possible, as I’ve been where you are feeling hopeless and trapped.

 

P.S. This is the manpanion that I had the honor to spend this transformative adventure with and am so grateful to have the privilege to be around someone so supportive, fun and inspiring.

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