We’re going to talk about what exactly is missing in most peoples mindset and approach towards diet recovery that prevents people from:
I’ve talked to many people and this recurring theme keeps coming up and perhaps this is what you’re experiencing as well:
So before we talk about that, I want you to think about the matrix, the movie series.
And when most people think of the matrix, people think of - to take the red pill or the blue pill - right?
The reason why i’m talking about this today is because there are elements to this concept that one can use in their perspective around restriction recovery.
Initially when Neo takes the red pill, things only seem to get worse at first for him, the truth sets him free from the lies and slavery to the system, but that doesn’t mean it’s all butterflies and rainbows at first, it seems to get worse for him.
At first as people are after him, seeing the truth is harsh (LITERALLY a harsh pill to swallow) and a lot of things come up - it’s a journey.
But, in the long term it offers true freedom, the kind of freedom most don’t think is possible becaus they’re still drinking the koolaid of the blue pill, or under the spell of the blue pill, however you want to say it..
For those of you who haven’t seen the matrix - basically to take the blue pill is to continue to live in the dream world, where taking the red pill means you shed your fantasy thoughts, beliefs and ideals and wake up to the “real world” by seeing the truth.
So you have to actually choose to take on the red pill and see everything for what it actually is.
To change how you see from the inside out, and seeing the truth in the lies from your new lens.
Taking the red pill means you’re required to endure a vast amount of unlearning and relearning when it comes to detaching yourself from mainstream dogmatic or fad philosophies and nutrition tips and see with new eyes how the metabolism actually works and how to actually view health, food and your body.
So keep the idea of the red pill and all the freedom it entails, and I want to contrast that to the scene of Neo’s life prior to taking the red pill.
He hates his job and he’s constantly in search of something, believing that something is off about the world he’s living in.
So this is people prior to finding out of diet recovery or are on the fence of going all in or just in the midst of the onset of the red pill while being in the midst of recovery.
And so there are a lot of people in their recovery considering or taking action on, taking the blue pill again aka going back to restrictive eating and going back to pre-life ie hating your life, stressed and guilty around food, always fighting your body, knowing somethings off but not knowing what, miserable etc.
And so going back to before to these people, sounds more appealing than being in recovery and having freedom, because they’re not prepared for the initial but temporary discomfort!
And they’re completely ignoring and unwilling to make internal shifts and do the work it takes to stick it out and just get to the other side and in return reep true freedom and sanity...
Because it is work, but nothing worth having comes easy, and it’s so worth it.
And so because of this, they’re then left scratching their heads wondering why they’re stuck, why they’re not much better than before, why they’re miserable.
They're stuck in a quasi recovery, another jail cell, and I don’t want this to happen to you!
And one of the ways I’ve found to best help to get people to full freedom is through a complete surrender of the fight with the body.
And I know everyone here has been, or had been, doing the opposite, this goes against everything.
They’ve literally been sacrificing everything to avoid this.
So if I say COMPLETELY stop fighting your body right now, what do you feel? One word, what do you feel? What is the first feeling you get, that comes up when I say stop fighting your body and completely surrender to your body?:
Some people say RELIEVED!
But most people say: terrified, fearful of the unknown and uncertainty, fear of what others will think of them, disaster, confusion.
Which I totally get, I felt the exact same way about the idea of complete surrender after I’d been in a perceived sense of complete control.
And a lot of people have all these negative associations with surrender, such as giving up, weak, lazy, etc.
And people even think in terms of black and white, such as if I do this, and it doesn’t work I'm now stuck miserable!
But to stop fighting the body is the best way to gain complete freedom and a healed metabolism.
And so in order to get over these terrible feelings, you have to shift your mindsets.
I’ve shared my story - but basically I had put so much pressure on myself that if this didn’t make me feel better immediately that it was wrong and I was finished.. i’d exhausted all my options..
And I had this mindset that if I completely surrendered and went all in that I would literally die, I wouldn’t be ok, that it would be the end of me if I failed at one meal and I’d ruin my health and lose everyone around me, etc etc
...because it went against everything I knew.
And guess what, I did go all in and it didn’t get better right away, I didn’t feel better immediately and people did think I was crazy.
But it helped me shift one of my mindsets...
...that going all in isn’t the end all be all, it is just the beginning.
So what I want you to take from anything is that whether you commit to a restrictive eating recovery process and initially it’s a complete success and you just “get it” right off the bat and you feel great and intuitive right off the bat...
whether you feel worse than before or whether you weren’t “perfect” at this process right off the bat “like Joanna or Joe was..”
so many people fear failing and doing the “rules” wrong in intuitive eating and what not, so whether it’s trying to be “perfect” at each and every meal and perfect with each and every bite then you think if you fail and ruin everything and you'll just gain and gain immediately and endlessly…
no, you’re going to take what you’ve learned about yourself everyday and continue to refine your approach to food, making necessary shifts, reframing your mindset and thinking and then take it to the next meal, finding YOUR own balance along the journey, figuring out for yourself what’s going to work for you to set you up for success and true freedom.
And so this brings me to the next thing I want to talk about which connects with the matrix example of taking the blue pill - which is the number 1 of the biggest mistakes I see people make when they decide to ditch dieting is they don’t think in terms of the long game. Thinking ok i’m going to go all in and it’s going to great and quick.
Have you ever done this? Thinking alright i’ve been in this for a month now or three months now, aren’t I right for thinking I should be good now?
Or what a lot of people think is, okay i’m just going to get into this and just heal my metabolism for a bit, and then i’m going to get back to living the way I was!
Have you ever been here too thinking alright this is just this metabolism thing, and not focusing at all on the other half of the internal environment... your mind?
Most people I talk to whether 1 month in or even 1 year in, if they’re just coming to me struggling, more often than not they underestimate and undervalue this other huge part of the internal environment healing that is crucial - the metabolism + mind connection, which feed eachother.
And when I ask people about this, they’re response is “yea, haven’t been focusing on that much at all, I should probably start that huh?”
And my response is "mhmm...YEA!"
And then I help with these mental shifts through various techniques and they’re like "oh… yea that is so helpful to dealing with this other internal healing,"
and they realize it’s not just a quick metabolism thingie they’re dealing with, and they report, "no wonder I felt so mentally stuck."
Or people often think their mind is some abstract thing they don’t really understand it or they may think they do, but they really don’t, which is why they’re not valuing it, and you don’t believe that which you don’t understand right?
And so without this, you’re not going to have any clue on how to get through those “oh no this is hard and scary and not going to work for me” moments which then will lead to self sabotage and self abandoning behaviors such as joining a new 30 bootcamp challenge or trying the new clean and lean meal plan, which then affects your metabolism, again...
...and that’s why you don’t get out of your own cycle, you aren’t getting much further, still feeling mentally stuck, guilty, stressed around food and what you see in the mirror or getting dressed everyday nothings really changing, and instead of going uphill,
you’re just going in a circle, going nowhere.
Also known as quasi recovery.
You do not want to do this, you do not want to get stuck in quasi recovery, or get stuck dipping your toes in the water and never going all in or stuck, settling for familiar misery because your fears and doubts get the best of you.
Right so you want to be operating recovery like Neo does when he’s presented the opportunity to take the red pill, he takes the red pill.
So you want to take the leap of faith too, see everything clearly and then when the demons come up, the challenges come up with this new enlightened outlook, you’re prepared by tending to your internal environment.
Because it’s not easy just because you finally have the truth, and you do to not want to resort to taking the blue pill again because you weren’t prepared to do the proper work to that makes the red pill true lasting freedom and way worth even ever considering taking the blue pill ever again, going back to ignorance.
Because ignorance is NOT bliss, restricting food and fighting your body is NOT bliss, it's NOT easier, just because you know how to do it, you’re just going back to pure misery, obsession, stress, and suffering.
So let me ask you: Is it better to free your mind? Or live in blissful ignorance? To take the red pill or truth-freedom or to take the blue pill of slavery and glamorized lies?
Well blissful ignorance is actually a miserable tortorous chamber cell because you’re miserable and suffering without the solution, and all the other red-piller's keep giving you more things that make you worse because they’re in ignorance too.
At least now you have the choice.
And so this is one of the biggest mistakes people make when they start or are in the midst of their restriction recovery process - they begin to see the blue pill as tempting, as temporary relief..
Or that it seems easier to just go back, but let me remind you, it IS NOT easier and it always ends up in more suffering, misery and ill mental and physical health.
This is why you need to play the long game in order to fully recover your mind and metabolism and not get stuck in a quasi recovery - so you can create a recovery system that sets you up for long term success.
So you can create a life worth living so you don’t recover and just end up just as miserable as you were before.
And in my program The Find Your Balance System, I teach people how to do this through my 4 step framework and this is how my framework helps people in their journey!
P.S. I’m hosting a free masterclass specifically for people who want to stop feeling obsessed around food and truly heal their metabolism and you’re invited! Click here to sign up.