Feeling FATIGUED & LAZY? Should you be doing MORE in your ED recovery?

Uncategorized Mar 09, 2020
Today I want to address a question I got from a viewer, so let’s just get right into it okay? πŸ™‚

She wrote:

“Firstly I just want to say thank you so much for all your videos and blogs you have no idea how much they help me have your book as well and I feel that your journey really resonates with me so thank you for that. I wanted to ask: after watching your latest video and I have a question that has been bothering me and was hoping you could help I am 8.5 months into my full recovery now I have gained a lot of weight like I would say a hundred pounds (so that’s pretty similar to me going from 90 to 190 pounds) but I am still so tired all the time I have taken a year off work as my work involves standing all day even the thought of showering and getting dressed in the mornings is torture. I do go out maybe to meet a friend for lunch or get some groceries but when I come home I feel like I’ve been run over by a train. My question is that you said in your video that it is important to not put your life on hold and to not make recovery your whole life but I really don’t have the energy for doing much else. Do you think I should be forcing myself more or do you think that I am doing it the right thing by letting my body rest by resting and listening to my body? I’m just hoping that this isn’t holding me back and would love your advice thank you so much again.”

This is a great question and I get this question quite often regardless of the previous video or not so I’ve been wanting to address this anyways. I also get questions like what did you do for work that’s a whole other topic of discussion.

But I do want to say quickly that in my recovery I was working a couple different jobs that required standing the whole time in the beginning when I first stumbled onto recovery so for the first several months (I’m not exactly too sure how long) but I was doing that and it was it was miserable.

Because as you guys may know, I had such horrible edema and swelling and my ankles and knees and face and belly and everywhere and I felt like I was nine months pregnant so it hurt my back to stand all day and it hurt my feet as I had really bad pain in my feet.

Even walking anywhere, there was pain in my knees or even just standing, it really felt like I was an old elderly woman.

that’s pretty normal to feel this joint pain, achey-ness and swelling in recovery and that’s again, a whole other topic of discussion as well as going into the

But just know that this is completely normal!

You don’t have heart failure, kidney failure and all of that stuff, in eating disorder recovery, although it damages these organs, the pain is not that things are getting worse, but that these organs are turning back on, balancing out and being tended to for healing by the body.

You’re nursing yourself back to health and the body is producing these painful inflamed feelings as a communication signal to you to rest and stay off of the areas of your body.

Just like when you would stub your toe and it gets red and inflamed and swollen, as a sign that you should stay off of your toe or foot until you rest enough that your body can heal rather than continuing to keep injuring it or not allowing enough energy to go to healing.

It’s the same thing and that’s why extreme over exercisers, fitness competitors, athletes, etc., get very very bad pain and swelling from head to toe, in their back, in their abdominal, in their muscles..

It seems like everything is aching and painful. Even walking is painful, to just literally go across the hallway.

For me same thing happened in my diet recovery, I would get out of bed and immediately my feet would just be throbbing and if I was standing to cook breakfast or if I was standing to make coffee or walking down the hall just to go to the bathroom my feet and knees would just ache and throb and I just needed to go lay down elevate my feet so that went on for quite some time for months

And then also the other thing is you’re feeling tired all the time so I think I’ve said this before or you know I say this fill up my clients because a lot of you guys have this issue is the fatigue.

Okay so rewind, yeah I was working at first and then it was too much like I was going through some pretty bad and gnarly symptoms of recovery like to where I was just like on bed rest. I had to be on bed rest so luckily I had the privilege to move back home with my parents they supported me they knew what I was going through and they supported that and I was lucky enough to you know work online and also you know at that time I was still in school so it was a good situation to allow me to rest a lot when I needed to and I had the flexibility.

I know not everyone has that but some people do and if you do have that situation take advantage of that and don’t feel guilty like don’t feel like you just need to get your life back together and you know you shouldn’t be resting so much and how could you just be so lazy and gluttonous and you need to get your life together and get your life back on track… NNOO.

If your body is sending these extreme extreme signals to rest such as fatigue and if you’re getting tired just you know walking around the house you can’t even like take a walk outside tape tires you to go grocery shopping it tires you to just get up eat breakfast and then get tired and go take a nap..

And when you wake up from the nap, you wake up and it’s lunchtime and you’re hungry and then you eat and then if you go back you know for another nap like you feel so winded and exhausted that you just have to take so many naps a day.

That was me – I would wake up have breakfast be winded go right back to bed like I just had to lay down and I would just pass out it’s like go to sleep.

It would happen for lunch and it may have happened mid-day too and I would try to work in between, try to go grocery shopping, etc.

I really took advantage of resting and my ability to have that flexibility to optimize on my fatigue!

Yes I did have those feelings of guilt and shame in the beginning because you know, a lot of our personalities in here recovering from disordered eating or restrictive dieting and we just come from this mindset of:

“we need more willpower.. we need more self-control.. we need to do more and be more and be the fittest and be the healthiest and be the most successful..”

It’s like we’re competitive in nature so it’s completely understandable why you can you feel so guilty and you can’t even for once in your life take some time to rest without guilt or shame..

I personally get this I think for my mom. Not to blame of course, but we do pick up tendencies from an early age and my mom is the same way and I’m not talking down on her I just think it’s funny.

Because she just went into retirement and she had this plan that she was just gonna sleep for a year and we all laughed at her because we’re like yeah right like good luck and she would get mad at us for saying that.

She tried to justify saying things like “no I really am just watch”

Low and behold, she just retired and she has all her days filled with things to do and she’s exhausted like I can’t rest and I’m like you know you need a rest lol

But anyways that was just a little side note and it’s just funny because you’re not alone if you’re feeling guilty or shameful that you just “can’t rest” and you have this opportunity to rest.

And maybe you have people around you that are supporting you, consider yourself you’re lucky! And again, yeah you should take this time for yourself

And even people who have people around them that support them, they still can’t rest and chill the f*! out because it’s their own internal guilt and shame radar going off.

They’re like “no no don’t sit your ass down, get your ass up and push through the fatigue and push through the tiredness and you gotta do more, you’re not doing enough!”

Even though this time is supposed to be a time of healing and restoring and looking within rather than being all completely external and it’s a time to find yourself again and nurture yourself for once.

In a real, healthy balanced kind of way, or at least you’re finding out how to do that.

This is a great lesson I think that the body is forcing you to rest, and forcing you not to be able to be mobile and full of energy.

It’s forcing you to learn how to rest and take care of your body because you obviously haven’t learned how to do that..

Because you’re still feeling guilty, you’re still feeling shameful, you feel like even though you have like this opportunity you didn’t even let yourself fully embrace it and fully take it on without guilt and shameful thoughts judging every step you take along your recovery.

So you were still stressing yourself out because guilt can really be a form of stress.

And you’re just like “oh this is bad… I should get my life back together.. RIGHT NOW!” And I’m not saying you (the person who wrote in) did this but some people do and I see this all the time.

Moral of the story, if you have the opportunity to rest, REST, #noshame.

Or if you don’t have this opportunity, you know, for the people that have full-time jobs or they have a big family, it’s just doing what you can when you can and making yourself a priority.

Because you can make all the excuses in the book but there is some time that you can make room for yourself.

So maybe you’re the one that doesn’t have this luxury of getting to rest whenever you can all the time whenever you’d like, BUT you probably could find somewhere in your day or night to take a bit more time for yourself more than you ever have.

It’s gonna be crucial.

You’re learning how to do self-care for what your body is really asking for rather than what your mind is trying to push you to do based off of where it’s coming from, whether of the environment in which you grew up in, the past conditioning and our culture that pushes us to do more and be more…

You’re challenging these and it is HARD WORK.

And yes it’s gonna be uncomfortable and yes a lot of resistance is gonna come up and you’re gonna feel guilty and it’s going to feel uncomfortable and foreign..

but if you really want to heal that, you have to learn how to take some time for yourself and make yourself a priority as well.

You’re not going to become a selfish narcissist for taking time for yourself.. no way!

You need to in order to be able to serve others be a better partner or sister or daughter or son or friend or better business owner or employee.

You have to fill your cup first so then you have stuff to give or else you’re just gonna be burnt out, reactive, stressed out, pissed off, irritable, under slept, overworked, and that’s not going to be pleasant to be around, right?

You have to learn how to take time for yourself again and you have to learn how to make yourself a priority and set boundaries where they need to be for you, and for others.

You have to learn how to rest and fully embrace the rest without feeling so guilty

The main thing is to address this question above is

“is it important to not put your life on hold and to make your recovery your whole life but really don’t have that energy for doing much else?”

Recovery – this is only a short or minor part of the whole scheme of your life..

I say this a lot too and I’ll say it again: this is a short-term sacrifice for the long-term of the quality of your future!

Think of yourself like a house or a baby, so you’re trying to build a steady solid foundation because if you just try to half-ass this and build on a weak unsteady foundation, eventually it’s gonna break down and it’s not gonna hold up.

You’re gonna find yourself back at square one.

We think that we can out smart or out think our body and our biology but

BIOLOGY WILL END UP WINNING!

So we can try to force ourselves and push ourselves to the extremes, we may see “results” at first, and become attached to the initial results, that initial high, but then it all starts to slowly crumble, and we become blind to those obvious yet subtle changes, (for the worse)..

So we may start to question, “WTF is happening?! Everything was going great?!” or “I thought this was going to solve my suffering?!”

Which is probably why you ended up finding this article or damnthediets.com or my youtube channel or another Recovery’s YouTube channel or blog or whatever..

It’s because whatever you were doing, wasn’t working for you anymore!

You were trying to find an alternative way because you were suffering.

THAT’S, biology winning.

Your body is seeking new answers.

Your BODY is finally forcing you to look elsewhere.

Because what you’ve been doing has been too much and you need a freakin break and you’re exhausted.

Think of yourself also as a caterpillar.

In recovery, you’re going into your cocoon and it’s going to take a while to build yourself up.

Whatever those caterpillars do in there, they’re in there doing some crazy building shit.

They’re transforming themselves. And that’s like what you’re doing.

You’re taking some time for yourself.

I’m sure the caterpillars don’t feel guilt or shame for going in their little cocoon for that amount of time (however long it’s going to take them) because, for example, they don’t have our culture to influence them, telling them they’re lazy for going into a cocoon.

Okay, but I’m not gonna blame it ALL on culture… that’s just an example.

But common’ are those caterpillars going to feel guilty for going in there cocoon? Most likely not.

They know that what they’re doing is part of the natural cycle and sometimes we have to take a step back or take a step down, in order to propel us further towards our goals, our healing, our success..

..And recoup and think about where we’re going in life and who we are and what we’ve been doing and where do we want to go, who do we want to be, do we want to starve or thrive, what do we want to transform into..

and then what do we have to do RIGHT NOW in our cocoon to get us to where we want to be.

So then you can be like the caterpillar – come out and be a beautifully transformed butterfly!

Okay I know that’s kind of cheesy but in all seriousness, that that’s what I like to think of recovery as.. you becoming a beautiful, upgraded version of yourself.

So don’t think in ways such as: “Oh I’m gonna lose all the fitness I’ve worked so hard for” “Oh I’m gonna just become totally unhappy and miserable and nobody’s gonna love me”

NOPE. STOP IT.

If you really do this recovery thing, and commit yourself and embrace recovery and do the mental and emotional work (facing old traumas, rewiring the brain, challenging old beliefs, etc) ALONG with the physical work (eating, resting and more eating and resting)

You’re totally 100{bc41f1766daa04dbdd5b5711e818927d3780af7c44cc3bed9ffa58212d0b10bc} going to come out of this process a freaking amazing kick-ass, confident, authentic, nourished, secure human.

I’m serious.

And it’s not gonna be easy and you may not be perfect. There may be a lot more tears and learning curves and learning lessons that you have to go through, but you’re doing it step by step, one day at a time, and you’re going to be a lot better off than where you’re coming from!

Because think of where you’re coming from.. Keep that in your mind of where you were 6 months ago, 1 year ago, 3 years ago?!

Why did you choose recovery?

Why does the caterpillar want to go in the cocoon? Um, it’s because it’s gonna become a freakin butterfly and it’s going to be able to fly! DUH.

That’s a superpower most all of us wish we had. (If not you’re weird…ok, not entirely true..)

And in a sense, you’re going to come from this older version of yourself that was suffering and insecure and hating yourself and felt crazy around food and from an exhausting existence..

and then you’re gonna recover and feel more confident, perhaps not completely, but you’re gonna feel more confident and secure with yourself and what you’re doing and why you’re doing it and you’re going to see what kinds of people you want to surround your with and what goals you really want to follow and pursue and passions that you have and your gifts that you have and you’ve been given that you should really build up and explore more!

The only way you could do that though (and fully be present and experience it to its fullest) is when you’re not starved and malnourished and depleted and exhausted and hyper-focused on what others are thinking of you and tearing yourself apart!

This is a big time of healing, it’s a lot of deep healing not just eating food, there’s a lot going on.

So you get your life back when you’re more recovered and you have more energy to do so.

So if you don’t have the energy to do that right now – follow that

REST! Be with yourself.

You’ll start to feel that feeling of desire and energy, and you’ll just know when you’re ready.

I got to a point in my recovery where I just had that burning desire to get back out in the world but at first I didn’t.

I just wanted to be at home or be in the Sun or be in nature or be with my dog and family..

That was me and my experience though, that may not be your recovery experience.

I’m only trying to answer so for those who feel guilty to rest and be a hermit cave troll for some time lol

You’ll get to a point in your recovery will you where you’ll just know.

You know it’s time to get back out in the world or you’ll have a little bit more energy or you’ll just have more of a desire to..

BUT, if you’re at that phase where you just want to rest even though you’re a year in and maybe you’re a year in still feeling like this because you’ve felt guilty this whole time?

or maybe not… or perhaps your recovery is lasting a lot longer because, well 15 years of disordered eating, may be a lot longer than other peoples duration of disordered eating.. so that may take longer than someone who is just coming from 6 months or 2 years, you see what I’m saying?

But as I said before, you’re not doing it wrong if you’re still fatigued and exhausted a year or more in to your recovery!

Just because it’s taking longer than someone else claimed that it took them well, who freakin cares!!

You are on your own path!

So stay in your own lane!

And yes we can branch out for guidance but remember to stay in your own lane when it comes to decision making for yourself.

Because your body is doing its own thing, we’re all different and it’s gonna look different for everyone.

Again, I don’t think that you should be forcing yourself to do more unless that’s what you DO WANT AND DESIRE.

If you DO NOT have that desire, DO NOT force yourself!

The only thing that you should be forcing yourself to do is if you’re coming from a past of restriction, you’re obviously suffering, and you just don’t have an appetite or hunger signals and then you should be forced feeding yourself to make sure you’re getting enough food in until your appetite returns.

That’s one half of the spectrum but the other half of the spectrum people have extreme hunger and they don’t have to be forced feeding themselves.

My youtube and blog here is very generalized and that’s why you can’t take everything I say literal – these videos or articles on google or any other videos on YouTube or articles on google,

because yes you can get a lot from them but everyone’s past and what they’re going through currently may look a bit different, even if it seems SO similar.

You can’t take 100{bc41f1766daa04dbdd5b5711e818927d3780af7c44cc3bed9ffa58212d0b10bc} of everything that we all say on YouTube or in a book or on a blog or what google says and take it 100{bc41f1766daa04dbdd5b5711e818927d3780af7c44cc3bed9ffa58212d0b10bc} literal for your situation.

You take it, and filter it – tweak it a little bit for what makes more sense to you and what phase you’re at in your recovery or the background you’re coming from,

Whether it’s anorexia, bingeing and purging, extreme athleticism, or a restrictive extreme diet like paleo, ketogenic, veganism, contest prepping, weight watches, intermittent fasting, fruitarian, clean eating, etc.

But know, just because you’re coming from a restrictive diet for several years or 15-20 years versus someone with anorexia DOES NOT mean that you’re not “sick enough” to recover!”

Yeah, just dieting and eating only 1500 calories a day and pushing your body into a “slight” (or huge for your body) caloric deficit can wreak havoc on your body long term!

It’s a real thing that a lot of damage can happen from just being a “clean eater” or “fitness enthusiast”

and being super restrictive and depriving yourself and becoming malnourished and develop severe digestive problems, bloating, food allergies, candida and whatever else people like to blame their extreme diet-like symptoms on with a facade label

and having to go through the same recovery symptoms as someone with anorexia does.

Yes it might look a little different but people I’ve seen people coming from fruitarianism, or raw veganisn (including myself) –

they honestly suffer even MORE than people with anorexia with their recovery symptoms, joint paint digestive pain as a rebound effect.

It just it goes to show just because you feel like you’re not sick enough, if you’re suffering and for some reason you found my blog or my youtube channel, obviously there was something wrong that you wanted to change

Your gut, your intuition, the universe or God or your higher self or whatever you believe in, led you here, led you to question what you were doing

Just remember that out of all of it listen to your body, listen to your gut and your mind, but within reason, because your mind can just spiral out of control with endless thoughts sending you into panic or fear, from the past conditioning and old false belief systems that have gotten you into this mess!

So it’s about reconnecting the mental and the physical so they can both come together and make a proper well informed well balanced decision.

And out of all of it listen to your body!

Your body is very intelligent and if it’s sending these signals to rest or to eat more, really that’s what you should be doing is: resting and eating more!

And then adjusting as time goes on: maybe you need less rest as time goes on and maybe you don’t need to eat 10,000 or 5,000 calories anymore like you DID need in the beginning if you had that extreme hunger

Because your body is healing and it’s coming out of a starved state.

but don’t try to lower the amount of food you take in or the amount of rest you take “consciously” trying to speed things up..

because you “want to get the weight off” or because you think you shouldn’t be at a BMI of 25 or 27

Allow your body to do its thing and TRUST in your body and Trust in yourself and that’s a lot of recovery too is rebuilding that trust with your body – YOU building trust your body and then YOUR BODY building trust with you.

Okay so now I’m kind of getting a little bit more repetitive so I’m gonna leave it at that.

I hope this has helped you I hope this

Don’t feel back or as if you’re doing recovery wrong if your life doesn’t allow for the “perfect” recovery..

There’s not there’s no such thing as “perfect” recovery except the one that is the one you’re doing yourself.

Find your own way with what you can do and don’t make excuses but also don’t feel guilty because your situation isn’t similar to someone else’s okay?

Like I was saying again this message is more generalized if you want more personalized help from me I do still offer private coaching and I do have my online courses for further support and help in your recovery.

Xx 

Kayla Rose

Holistic Nutritionist

P.S. I’m hosting a free masterclass specifically for people who want to stop feeling obsessed around food and truly heal their metabolism and you’re invited! Click here to sign up.

 

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