Coronavirus CVOID19 and Your ED Recovery

Uncategorized Mar 26, 2020

Hey, everyone. Kayla here, welcome back to another post. :)

Weird times right now, right? Especially to be in recovery. So, I thought it would probably be good to touch on some of the things that I've been reflecting about, and how this time can affect recovery, and how this time can be a period of growth.

 

I don't know where you're at in the world, but I am in Southern California. It's pretty apocalyptic.. You go to the store, you guys probably know, everything's sold out and there's limitations on everything. My mom just told me a story when she went to the grocery store this morning, they're limiting things. So, she got her groceries, not that many groceries, just some necessities, and they took away most of her groceries when she put it on the aisle. She got two cartons of eggs, and a bag of tortillas, a loaf of bread, a bag of pasta, and they said they're only limiting one item of bread per person. So, they considered tortillas, bread, and pasta as a bread item, so you only get one of those. Pretty weird.

 

And I even went out to Sam's Club and Costco, and it was weird. Everything was cleared out, pretty much. And I started thinking to myself, I'm like, "You know what this kind of reminds me of?

Scarcity.

This is triggered in the brains of a lot of people, the scarcity mindset. And so, everyone's freaking out and trying to hoard everything that they can. People are buying up everything. Everything is sold out, even online. People are lining out the door for guns and ammo, for toilet paper, survival guide books, non-perishable items. What this triggers in people, in their brain, and in their body, even if it's not yet here, it triggers that famine response, that scarcity response that things are scarce, and so we need to conserve, we need to stock up, we need to hoard.

 

This is a glimpse into what it would actually look like... not quite yet, but just the tip, a peak, of what it would somewhat look like of what famine and scarcity could look like.

How?

We, as a society, before all of this, in our abundance, we willingly mimic this, we choose to mimic this, on a day-to-day basis. When we have this blessing of an abundant environment, we choose scarcity in the abundance, and we don't even realize how serious that decision really is, until it actually happens and threatens our potential survival, or if we're gonna survive. We do this on a daily basis, as a culture, worldwide, globally now, with diet culture and fitness culture, smaller body syndrome culture.

 

People's priority in an abundant environment (not everyone, but a lot of people, as we've seen) their priority becomes small body, less food, more energy expenditure, less energy intake. And we mimic that, and we prioritize famine, scarcity. And now, when the scarce environment even is triggered and is threatened, we even feel the slightest bit threatened, what is our priorities now?

Food, a lot of it, water and protection.

And so, people are buying up food, water and protection, left and right. See how priorities change, right? Most people aren't thinking, "Oh, what's the healthiest option? Oh, what's gonna give me the most micronutrients?" No, they're thinking, "What's gonna be the best survival food? What's gonna last me the longest?" They're not gonna be thinking what's the lowest calorie, they're gonna be thinking, "What's the highest calorie?" They're gonna be thinking, "What's the best survival food that'll last?" And who knows what will eventually come out of this as time progresses?

 

But, if anything, it could be a time of reflection. It could be, in a sense, a wake-up call to how serious and insane putting ourselves willingly into an energy deficit and suppressing our weight, unnaturally and unhealthily, actually is. And how it should not be glamorized, it should not be idealized, it should not be sought after, it should not be prioritized, it should not be cool. It should be seen for what it really is, and it's none of those, it's the opposite. And to also see how necessary recovery can be, no matter what you've put your body through, minimal restriction to severe restriction, dieting, yo-yo dieting, over-exercising, just any food control, and how it's more serious than that. And, if we weren't in such a comfortable, abundant, convenient environment, then maybe our priorities would be a little different than they've been.

 

And, in fact, this mindset of disregarding this blessing of abundance that we've been gifted to experience, of abundance, and convenience, and security, can come from us having abundance, convenience and security, because every generation before, in the past, that didn't have abundance, security and convenience, they took every morsel of food, without being picky. They took every ounce of body fat seriously, and they appreciated it, and it was highly prized, and revered, and preferred, as a genetic advantage for survival. So, they appreciated it, rather than condemning it, suppressing it, fearing it, hating it, and feeling disgusted towards it. It was, in fact, the opposite.

 

So these are times to give a glimpse into what the reality is here, outside of the diet mindsets, and the beauty mindsets, and the fitness mindsets. One, that fat storage is your lifeline. It helps you to survive these times of potential famine, potential starvation, not enough access to abundance of energy, water, because with too little, you die. Two, is to find gratefulness for your body and for God, for giving us even these blessings, to be able to experience the level of abundance that we have in our life, that we often have taken for granted. And I know I did in the past, and the recovery sure gave me a deeper appreciation for all of it, that's for sure. So, if anything, this just helps to even more cement it in, and to be grateful towards your body that is designed to help get you through these times of scarcity, and famine, and energy deficit, to fight for your survival. It's designed to fight for your survival. It's not designed to be your worst enemy, and to deceive you, and to be the enemy, it's there helping you.

 

 

Three, is to realize that we are not in control here. We're not control of stopping the bad things from happening to us and in our lives. And life isn't perfect, and it never will be. Even if we try to create this facade or fantasy of... That we feel like we're in control, it only creates more damage in the long-term that we're gonna have to face eventually. And so, if you're feeling anxious during these times, I know a lot of people are feeling very anxious around these times, know that a lot of anxiety comes from one, feeling out of control, or trying to be in control.

 

And also, during these times, the anxiety can cause one to engage in the disordered behaviors again. Wanting to hoard food, wanting to restrict food, to deal with these anxious emotions during these times. Or to exercise more, or move more to deal with the anxiety or fears, when really, that's just kind of literally running away from the anxiety rather than dealing and feeling, feeling and dealing. Or the anxiety of having to be quarantined, and not being able to go move with the typical routine ritual, or strict rules and guidelines that one has been accustomed to. And so, sitting inside actually causes a lot of anxiety for that person, because they're gonna have to learn how to sit and be okay with that.

 

So, now is the time to learn how to surrender, learn how to let go of the control that you even think that you have, and accept most things in life aren't in our control, but that to trust, and have faith, and believe that things will always work out, because they always do. It may not be the way that we thought that they should, but they always work out for the best. So, times like these can potentially, if we take it as a time to reflect, and shift our mindsets, and see the bigger learning lesson out of it all, times like these can give us a different perspective on life, and to look at life a lot differently, whether it blows over or gets worse or whatever. Times like these can help us get stronger or closer or reconnect, even, with our spirituality, with our creator, with God and our faith, to look to something outside of ourselves, when we feel so out of control.

 

So, now is the time to prioritize calorically-dense, energy-dense foods, nothing low calorie. Potentially, you've already been doing that if you've already been watching my channel, or maybe you haven't taken the leap into recovery yet, and maybe this is forcing you to, or maybe this is triggering you to have thoughts of going back. So, whatever you're dealing with right now, try to really assess what's going on internally, and see what needs to shift. Potentially a mindset shift, or a perspective change. Typically, in recovery, hopefully, you're already prioritizing high-caloric, energy-dense foods, but now's the time to even support that in a deeper sense, right? Because, if you're gonna be quarantined, you don't want a lot of perishables that are low calorie, you want a lot of non-perishables that are high calorie, just in case whatever happens.

 

And now's the time to re-prioritize your life values. If you really start thinking about all of this stuff. This is the stuff that I had to think of in my recovery, and this is the only way I could have fully recovered, is to really have these deep mental changes, the mindset changes, the perspective changes on everything in life. I didn't just go through recovery, and I was the same person mentally. No, that's how a lot of people get stuck, is because they may physically recover, but mentally they're still in the same place. They don't really change their beliefs about life, about how things work. They don't accept how life is or they don't see the lies for what they are. They don't question any of this stuff, and this is so imperative to growth.

 

Overall, this can be a good time or a bad time, or maybe instead of bad, just like a challenging time in one's recovery. Even people who aren't in recovery, this is a challenging time. But, for those in recovery, it could bring up a lot, I could only imagine. Or you're just so fixated on food you don't even care what's going on, 'cause all you can think about is food. Everyone could be in a different spot. And also something to note, because this is viral, depending on where you're at in your recovery, your immunity could be low. Your immunity may be compromised or suppressed, within the first 1-2 years of your recovery, as well as anyone who's actively under-eating or exercising more and eating less kind of thing. Typically, your immunity is suppressed. Maybe take some Airborne, but just keep eating, because that's how you can boost your immunity in the long-term, is by continuing to eat and recover, right? That's how you can get back your strong immunity again. Not that you're gonna become some superhuman or something, but it definitely does get better, your immunity does get stronger.

 

I was sick all winter long the second winter in my recovery. I never got better the whole winter, I was just always sick. But one thing is to just try your best not to be fearful, or anxious, or let that root during this time. Who knows what's to come out of this, and the fear and anxiety isn't gonna help anything. I see a lot of people that their anxiety and fear is getting out of control. Maybe just during this time, just try to strategize, so that the disordered eating and eating disorder, doesn't take over and root, and sneak back in to take advantage of this time, to lower intake, or to move more, when you don't have to, obviously, 'cause you probably don't have to yet. We aren't short on food, we aren't short on water, that stuff hasn't happened, just people are freaking out and buying up everything.

 

So it's not here yet so, deal with things as they come. And instead, now is the time to take advantage of guilt-free complete rest from exercise, from movement, from your typical routines and rituals and strict rules. If you're tired and if you need to recover... And this is why... I've talked about this in the past. But this is why I so strongly emphasized why not only is this break from exercise so critical, not only for your physical healing, but for your mental healing. And this is why, this is a prime example of why you need to heal your mindset around the exercise compulsion and your routines and rituals that you feel guilty if you miss a day from your routine because you need to get to this point where you're A, okay, if exercise is taken away from you, if your routine is interrupted, if life happens and you just can't keep up what you were doing prior, and exercise is taken away from you.

You're quarantined, because life happens and it's not always going to be perfect. We can't just do the same thing day in and day out and look the same day in and day out, and eat the same day in and day out forever. That's just not how life works.

 

And so you wanna get to that point that no matter what life throws at you, because it's gonna continue to throw things at us for the rest of our lives, we can deal with it without also, on top of whatever life throws at us, having to deal with the panic and anxiety and fear and guilt and shame of not being able to carry out our rules, rituals, routines, and strict guidelines and lifestyle, which should be the least of your concerns during these times.

Because we can't, and we won't ever be in total control ever in this life. So freeing yourself from the fears around foods, the food limitations, the strict rules and guidelines and macro counting and low this or low that diets, and just freeing yourself from just the fears around having to eat something because you have limited access to the thing that you feel safe with alone is important. And freeing yourself from the fears of weight gain and your body changing 'cause you can't uphold the strict routine that you did for a certain amount of time, and your fears around having to take a break off of body movement and your exercise routine.

 

Freeing yourself from these fears is amazing and freeing when life happens. And you won't feel like your life is coming to an end just because you have to eat some different foods, rest, and not do your routine exercise drills, or gain some weight, and you won't just feel like your whole life is coming to an end because of what's happening in your life. And you can focus on what truly matters instead of the anxiety, fear, and guilt around food, body and exercise.

 

So to sum it all up, keep eating, keep recovering, don't let this time suck you back into old behaviors. Now is the time to challenge those last fears in the convenience of your home. And everyone's staying at home anyways, so now you don't have to feel like you have to be doing more and being more, being more productive. Now you have the excuse to be lazy in your recovery.

You're not being lazy!

You're taking care of your body so that you can do more things in the future with your life, right? When you're under-eating and over-exercising and you're in and out of your deficit, you're good for nothing pretty much. You're irritable. You're thinking about food all the time. You can't be there for people truly 'cause you're thinking about food all the time, your health is suffering.

 

So if you take this time to recover and let go of the feelings of laziness and let go of the feelings of gluttony, and let go of the feelings of, "You're disgusting" and just recover and know that it will get better and you will recover and you're not the unicorn, that it's not gonna happen to you because you're some unique case. We all have human bodies and they're all designed to deal with this properly.

Keep going and don't get discouraged during this time. Take advantage of it and see what maybe you can learn out of this time, if anything. So I send all my love to you wherever you're at right now, whatever you're having to deal with. And until next time, I'll see you in the next post. :)

 

Need more help in your recovery? Checkout my online resources for step by step guides, my book, one on one support, courses and more by clicking here!

 

xx Kayla Rose

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